As I grow older, I get a lot more comfortable with myself. It's different from being confident. I've always been confident—especially in front of people I know and on things I am passionate about. But most of the time, I wasn’t comfortable expressing or being myself at that moment.
When I first started meditating daily, I wasn't comfortable doing it with my parents or then girlfriend—now wife—around. I told them that I meditate, but I didn't want them to see me. As if they were eager to say it. The fact was no one cared.
When I first started writing, I tried my best to write about research papers, case studies, tips and tricks—without saying much about myself. I still think an article gets better when there are supporting stories and facts. But a great piece of work also gives readers a peak into the world of the author. When I read some of my past work, I don’t see a lot of that. And to me, they lack soul and fail to make a connection.
I was trying to project a self-image that wasn't me in the past. It made sense because I was growing—and wanting to become someone I was not. It could also be that because of my childhood, I don’t have a strong self-image to begin with. So it was me figuring and craving it out.
I’m still learning and growing today. To me, it’s a never-ending journey and process. The difference is that when I was younger, I wanted people to see me as the end result, the best version of me. But now, I'm more comfortable with who I am at this very moment and don’t mind telling people and myself that I’ve changed in the future while sharing my progress along the way.
What do you think? Do you experience the same? And how did you get more comfortable with yourself? Love to hear more from you.